The Fall Of Mikey 1:1

Mikey was fond of walking, and would walk for miles at a time simply to amuse and ponder days to come.
Much like the Christmas Warlock from "Santa Claus is coming to Town" who could no longer do card tricks at the freezing of his soul.
When Mikey fell, he fell body, soul, heart and spirit.
At the beginning of the fall, Mikey stopped walking and awaited events to pass him by, jumping on those that caught his interest and riding them till his attention span changed.
Mikey had given up all direction and focus, and unlike that same Warlock from, "Santa Claus is coming to town", Mikey did not put "One foot in front of the other", ever.
Mikey sought only the favor that lied at the bottom of a Mountain Dew bottle. Due to this, for the year of 1994, Mikey did not sleep at all.
In fact, Mikey did not blink from January to May of that year.
Mountain dew was that powerful in 1994.
Heretics and Bohemians and GFP's would often hail Mikey from the door of his studio apartment in Chicago. Each would plead the good wishes of Mikey and that he would come hither that his innate ability to amuse and bemuse simultaneously could be brought out for a commercial production or two.
Mikey indulged the occasional theatrical group, no memory or artifact of these performances remain today.
This was the "Dew" period of Mikey.
All Mikey knew was that he was really, REALLY awake and this helped dull the gnawing anguish that breathing gave him during this time.
Mikey began to feel the cold embrace of apathy and simply due to the excellence of the bootleg Mikey possessed of, "Mellon collie and the Infinite Sadness" from the Smashing Pumpkins.
The existence of Mikey turned Spartan as all that existed in this tribulation was the Cat of Mikey, the Bed of Mikey, and the refrigerator of Mikey. The refrigerator was always stacked with Mountain dew for Mikey, and Nine Lives for the cat of Mikey.
An acquaintance of Mikey from the initial days of his ministry in Baltimore did seek Mikey out one fogged July evening of damp misery.
Jen Nicodemus had ascended in a short time to an executive position with a local improvisational troupe. Nothing about Jen Nicodemus floated the manly boat of Mikey,(which is an exceptional event for Mikey was not a fussy man with the ladies during this dark age), however Jen Nicodemus did know of the entertainment skill of Mikey and left a happy invitation on Mikey's answering machine.
"Mikey, be Mercury, add wings to your feet, and bring thyself to the Improv Institute this Thursday night."
Mikey was quizzical on the cleverness of the speech and decided to present himself.
More will be spoken of this penultimate night of Mikey in later passages of this gospel, but the most relevant event was the crossing of paths that Mikey tripped upon with the one known as Happy Julie.
Like so many audiences across the many tribal lands, Happy Julie was both amused and bemused by Mikey and remained orbiting his personal space for the majority of this night and on each path crossing in the near future from this night.
Happy Julie was pleasant to the ear, almost as pleasant to the eye, and as Mikey had not considered legitimate female companionship since he was traded in for the three wise lesbians, Mikey gave Happy Julie his phone number and address in a fleeting moment of whimsy.
And just like that, a few beaver dives later(as Mikey would sheath his sword for many moons after he was traded in for the three wise lesbians) and Bob's your uncle, Mikey received a card from Happy Julie proclaiming his lovemaking skill and her appreciation of same.
What could Mikey do?
Mikey was moved to do the one thing that his many Michigan brethren had done before him while they wallowed in apathy and bitterness.
Mikey never spoke to Happy Julie again and found clever ways to not be in the same space as she when she did socialize.
Happy Julie knows now, the blessing of Mikey, for this unfair oppression she did endure. May the fortunes of Happy Julie grow as the years progress.