The Book Of Mikey

This is the evolution of Mikey as created by the blessing of God. Witness shall be given to those gifts given by god during the course of this evolution. All praise to god.

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Location: the realm of dreams, Pennsylvania, United States

The time has come to live without fear.

Monday, March 13, 2006

The Piety of Mikey 1:2

A letter from Mikey to Jules the Younger


Mikey felt the tightening fingers of the moneychangers of Middle Eastern and Texas Oil interests choking the life from his revolving charge.
Mikey remembered the recent storm of wickedness that pushed gasoline to $3.31 a gallon and Mikey to a second minsitry to simply afford the backward and forward travel to his first ministry.
In a simpler day, Mikey could walk on Jerusalem slippers from engagement to engagement. Mikey was thinner then.
Perhaps Mikey would be mindful to be thinner again. Leaner, Sharper, Wiser, quicker.
Perhaps Mikey could rebuild himself and his relationship to the Teet of Crude Oil , make himself better than he was,
The movie would begin like this.
"Mikey, avid automobile enthusist, a man barely alive."
"He can rebuild himself, make himself better than he was before"
"better, stronger, faster"
Because as sure as the prophets foretold the victorious Pittsburgh Steelers, that a buffoon would rise to prominence in America and Zealot Hospitaler Pat Robertson would attempt to lead an eleventh crusade with vapid Georgia and South Carolina nobles, The 700 Club and their employees to retake the holy land.....
You can damn sure bet gas will be $3.50 to $4.50 a gallon as soon as a bodacious breeze blows this summer though nary a pike of oil refining damage will be done. ZIP DAMAGE. NONE.
The moneychangers of Texas will ally with the moneychangers of the Middle East to choke Mikey once more.
Mikey will not allow this to pass.
Holding up his middle finger each morning in front of the office of the local natural gas company, Mikey LOVES to walk around Casa Mikey in two sets of clothes with his thermostat at 52 degrees. Just to SHOW EM!
Mikey does this under the advisement that hypothermia sets in at 51 degrees.
Mikey will ride his reinforced(reinforced, as Mikey is not yet thinner as in olden time) Titanium Schwinn super special to the Bus Stop and take Public transportation fueled by hybrid technology to work and budget extracuricular activities around the needs of Mrs. Mikey to avoid duplicate trips and further feather the pockets of the whores of Haliburton and the destruction they have helped wrought.
If need be, Mikey will dig a ditch in his backyard and cook chickens on a spit over fire built with the sales materials of Hummer2, Hummer3 and HummerJr.
Its not that Mikey doesn't like a good hummer, but these trucks belong on the field of battle not in the hands of a low esteem 31 year old jag off who seeks to get second and third looks from girls coming out of "21 forever"
Mikey pauses, lest his anger create an aneurysm the size of the aneurysm he currently posses dormant since the days of Evil Nancy/Good Nancy/Psycho Nancy..(all that in 33 seconds flat and right back to Good Nancy, seriously)
To close, and to release himself of this rage, Mikey passes just a few more words.
FUCK IRAN, FUCK EXXON, FUCK OUR PLANNED LIMITED REFINING CAPACITY. and may these moneychanges and idolators reap what they sow.
May the wisdom of Eric the Glum be with you all.
and may each of you find favor with the next hottie you see.
The service is now over.
Go in Peace.
Amen.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Randy Jackson said...

Damn Dog.
This is straight.
Word.
Its a little pitchy.
but it came together at the end.
I feel you.

7:53 PM  

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