The Oppressors of Mikey 1:1

At the moment of revelation that forgiveness leads to redemption. Mikey did choose to write down the names of all those who would seek his blood and spirit to trash.
In a time before now, when mikey did carry his melonhead as a burden instead of the blessing it is.
and in a time before now when mikey did secretly wish the spiritual dismemberment of some of those who would try to quash him, those listed here did carry malice when mentioning Mikey.
Mikey gives these souls peace and wishes them blessing in the days and life to come.
The list of the oppressors of mikey is complete as it reads, for Mikey carries no current oppression and through the blessings of the creator will not in the future.
Mikey did write the following names down.
Pete of the Island of Cefalu, Nancy the Ice witch, Kari the moneychanger, the lab experiments gone awry that are Tammy and Barb, That arrogant rat fink at "Entertainment Weekly" that things everyone is out to get him and so carries that chip between everyone and his own commone sense, John Utley( I apologize for calling you a shit kicking redneck in the tenth grade), Angela the Methodist, Dave of Charleston who wouldn't let me move to claims when I asked nicely, The living incarnation of ignorance that is Clan Mys, The foolishness and lack of attention of him known as M.J.(may he be playing pac man somewhere away from me), The cloak of bitterness that was Kevin of Antioch, Sue(who would be 26 though she is closing in on 62 and the devil aint buying to change that for her), Dan Fogelberg and all of his sugar soaked bullshit music that didn't allow me to experience testosterone until 1985, The 1992 Perot for President campaign, Samuel Garcia(the 13 year old kid who stole my car at the time(a 1980 olds cutlass) and couldnt explain to the Bronx police why he didn't have a Michigan drivers license or a Melon head like the license plate said), Tom of Rochester(may he rest in peace), Bob's 24 hour auto repair of Charleston(no doubt your fraudelent ways put your business on a path far worse than the wrath of Mikey), Chip Beale of Florida(give it up dude, you are bald), The nameless freakshow who pursued the 13 year old mikey up and down the halls of Lapeer East one September afternoon hitting him with every large head epithet in the book(melonhead, pumpkinhead, beachball, Saturn, Bowling Ball, Sputnik).
Mikey reviewed the list of names on the paper, whispered a blessing to all those listed, and through the paper in the mighty river and watched it be eaten by a catfish.
"you are all forgiven, go in peace" Saieth Mikey.