The Ascension of Mikey 1.1(the retirement of M.J.)

On a cool September Saturday afternoon, in the midst of a Michigan Wolverine Vs. Michigan State Spartan halftime with leaves falling and vascilatting between red, orange and pumpkin innards yellow, Mikey called M.J. for a short meeting.
M.J. entered the dining area clad in sweats, an Irish Hooligan Soccer shirt and odd Oakland University pajama shorts painfully strewn over his sweats. He wore three years old Addidas, no shoestrings, M.J. did smell faintly of fraudelent Giorgio Red for Men. M.J.'s hair was in disarray and due to the wind outside, the melon of M.J. was not unlike an oncoming comet. The similarity of the melon of M.J. to that of 1997's Halle Bopp that this mighty melon did cause a local 16 person cult to assume it was their time to return to their home planet and they did all take their lives that afternoon while reading the autobiography of Detroit Lions owner William Clay Ford,"Mediocrity ain't so bad!".
Mikey did sit calmly at the head of the table. Neatly prepped, Mikey carried a notepad and pen, the notepad did carry some tables, various short paragraphs and in reinforced in the words, "Ohio State Sucks Big Boobies". Mikey was formalized in tannish shirt, black tie, black slacks the distinct crispness of just the right amount of Stetson Wild Country.
"What's the meeting for Mikey?" M.J. blurt out in the midst of Mikey's preparatory thought pattern.
"The time has come for you to take your place in the basement, amidst the rest of the relics. Your time has been past for quite some time now and like the '89 San Francisco earthquake many of the cracks you've left remain to be patched and filled." saieth Mikey.
"I don't think you're the one to put me there Mikey.", stuttered M.J., " I'm still in charge here yknow." Fear seemed to cross the unshaven brow of M.J. The kind of Fear M.J. recalled while his gut was being pummeled by the redneck John Utley against the outside library wall in the 10th grade and all M.J. could muster in the midst of the beating was, "You redneck bastard, is that all you got, Is that all you got?"
"You know that's not true, look around you. Do you see the new furniture? the books? the art? that the damn carpet has been cleaned of crap and actually washed? The hot chick in the bedroom? What make you of all this? You spend your time in endless rounds of Robotron 2084 and the umpteenth viewing of Return of the Jedi looking for yet another hidden meaning to a life you remain afraid to approach?" Mikey leaned forward.
"I am telling you the truth." Saieth Mikey, "you will always have a home here. but it is time for you to know your place. And your place, your time has gone. Its memory fills the basement with regret and the profit of garage sales to come. You will be at home there and you cannot deny that."
"You think I'm stupid? You need me, how do you expect to be half as witty if you lock me up? put me away? Who will rescue you from tight moments of uncomfortable silence, who will fill you with self worth with a quick one liner to floor the hot mamas? You?" M.J. smiled, "You are too serious"
"I was" saieth Mikey, "but I have remembered what I have learned from you. You make it impossible to be deaf to your ramblings, Make peace with the present and retire to the past."
"Your time is finished"
"And what will you do when you need me, when you run out of challenges and you need to remember again, what will you do then big shot? where will I be?" challenged M.J.
"You will be where you have always been." Mikey calmly stood up and walked to M.J., "You will be where it is most comfortable, the fan will be on, the tunes will be rocking and time will not touch you."
"I promise you M.J., I will keep you apprised about real life, and occasionally I will seek your counsel, but your time is officially laminated and put in the photo book. This is the best." saieth Mikey.
"I'm afraid" M.J. said, "that you will let me die, forget I ever was, who will come and see me then."
"Relax, you will remain a part of me, and I you. But today Mikey takes the wheel and reads the map."saieth Mikey,"M.J. rides shotgun and gets to order what he wants from the drive thru and I promise to let you run around at rest stops. O.K.?"
M.J. pondered.
"if the fan breaks downstairs? or I need a new cd player? You will buy it for me?"
"absolutely" saieth Mikey.
M.J. smiled grabbed a mountain dew, and lummoxed his way downstairs.
Mikey stood up, the game long since over with another Michigan victory, took a walk to the patio, and stood once again under the stars.