The Book Of Mikey

This is the evolution of Mikey as created by the blessing of God. Witness shall be given to those gifts given by god during the course of this evolution. All praise to god.

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Location: the realm of dreams, Pennsylvania, United States

The time has come to live without fear.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

The Numbers Of Mikey 1:2

Prior to Mikey, many sowed the seeds and reaped the wisdom that was passed to this generation. These throngs are listed here.(a reanalysis of recent findings within a clay cave near a gravel pit near Lapeer, Michigan have shed new light on the hierarchy of mikey than was previously listed in the lost book of Mikey, Numbers of Mikey 1:1)
In the beginning there was Adam, Adam begat abel who met the untimely end of a sports argument at the hands of Cain. Prior to that messiness, Abel begat Chip. Chip contemplated the fig business and in so doing begat Jehosophat. Jehosophat moved away from Mesopotamia to the west, crossing the Urals and begat Ivan. Ivan begat Hortense, Hortense begat Ivanhoe(this is not an exaggeration). Hortense, while preparing a wild potato dish, found fans of her cooking and formed one of the early tribes of Germania, and also begat Frau Melon. Frau Melon begat The Leader, The Leader begat a lad with an even larger head, His name was Jeff. Jeff started the first Germanic trade route with the emerging Egyptian empire bringing fortune to the family with trade in incense, erbs, gummy bears and beer. Jeff begat Frankenstein(who, oddly, did not have a big cranium, ending the streak). Frankenstien incurred the wrath of local townsfolk in limiting beer sales on Sunday and was walled up in a windmill and burned, but did begat Big feet Benny. Big Feet Benny begat Frau Skippy. Frau Skippy contemplated smashing peanuts and spreading them on rolls of rye, and begat Frau Jif. Frau Jif began the exodus to Hamburg and begat Olaf. Olaf begat Mulan. Mulan left Germania and fought a great conflict amongst the chinese peoples, but prior to that exodus begat Eric the Glum. Eric the Glum was convinced none of the local frauliens would be his until, in a drunken stupor he begat Count Von Vital. Count Von Vital established a royal line through Western Germany and the Von Vital family claims real estate ownership of 85% of Germany, Lichenstien and Denmark to this very day, a little known fact, Count Von Vital begat Jules the Elder. Jules the Elder came to the conclusion during a pagan ritual that She would not die and made the neccesary deal with the Lord of Dreams to make that happen and walks among us to this day, prior to this transaction, she begat Timmy. Timmy was a town idiot and save for a lost bet suffered by a local shop stewardess would not have begat Jezebel, but fortunately for this line, did infact do that begatting. Jezebel begat Arnold the Younger. Arnold the Younger begat Samsara. Samsara begat The high priest Slappy White. The high priest Slappy White begat Curly. Curly begat Mary, Queen of Scots.(this is as close as the line of mikey would come to political relevance). Mary, Queen of Scots, begat William, King Of Soap. William, King of Soap moved his lucrative cleaning business away from the great plagues in London at the time to the new world and begat Limey Louie. Limey Louie begat James. James begat Cotton Mather whom felt oppressed by the proliferation of hot chicks who would not give him the time of day and branded them all witches to burn them one by one, but did find time to begat Stands with Bitterness during a tryst with a native. Stands with Bitterness walked among the Puritans still and begat Feels with Grooviness. Feels with Grooviness fell hard for a colonial soldier and she begat Hezekiah. In between barn raising, Hezekiah begat Job. Job begat John Jacob Jingleheimerschmit. John Jacob Jingleheimerschmit begat Katherine, Katherine(whom is actually immortal though appears to take on the shape of a 96 year old grandmother) has begat many through the years as she has also made a deal with the Lord of Dreams and his sister and will never die, but for this discussion begat Arnold. and Arnold begat Mikey.


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