Michigan 1:2
A letter from Mikey to the people of Michigan.
What the hell is the matter with you? How can you be so angry? Why do you hate yourselves so that you choke your spirits and lives away in five lane construction zones?
Wait, I may have answered my own question.
I have walked the tribulation with you, with you all. Through leaving I have seen the beginning lights of redemption. Many peoples like me have chosen to flee. Do you not see them yammer their gladness as they pass from exit 1 on I-75 laughing to themselves at your joke of a welcome rest stop and into the loving gaze of Toledo?
What drives you to wake up in the morning? The thoughts of killing the deer herds to the north. Shooting them dead and dragging them on your weatherborne, ziebart less autos into your self created suburban muck?
For a glimmer of hope, ye have but look to the peoples of Frankenmuth, who have created amongst your wasteland, yea verily, a shining beacon of beer, bratwurst and brassy german warmth that people will travel miles to wallow in.
ALL HAIL THE NAME OF BRONNER AND ZEHNDER!!!! For from the mouths of clownshoes they have polished pearls.
I bring righteous tidings to the good people of Saint Ignace, who have endured the barbs of those from the lower peninsula that their burb just isn't far enough south. The bowling alleys of Saint Ignace are smooth and forgiving, its people the antithesis of the misery in the lower peninsula and the view of the Mackinac bridge from the north allows an expatriate like myself to truly look back in anger, with style.
I also bring good tidings to the people of Vassar who hold the prominence of holding the one hill in Michigan within its borders. This allows the citizens within to experience the peaks and valleys of spiritual life freely. Unlike their miserable neighbors further to the south in Millington, Otisville and beyond, whom only know mind numbing flatness.
If I could give ye people of Michigan a word, let it be this. "Seek out the curves and peaks....there ye shall find hope, and through hope, glory."
What the hell is the matter with you? How can you be so angry? Why do you hate yourselves so that you choke your spirits and lives away in five lane construction zones?
Wait, I may have answered my own question.
I have walked the tribulation with you, with you all. Through leaving I have seen the beginning lights of redemption. Many peoples like me have chosen to flee. Do you not see them yammer their gladness as they pass from exit 1 on I-75 laughing to themselves at your joke of a welcome rest stop and into the loving gaze of Toledo?
What drives you to wake up in the morning? The thoughts of killing the deer herds to the north. Shooting them dead and dragging them on your weatherborne, ziebart less autos into your self created suburban muck?
For a glimmer of hope, ye have but look to the peoples of Frankenmuth, who have created amongst your wasteland, yea verily, a shining beacon of beer, bratwurst and brassy german warmth that people will travel miles to wallow in.
ALL HAIL THE NAME OF BRONNER AND ZEHNDER!!!! For from the mouths of clownshoes they have polished pearls.
I bring righteous tidings to the good people of Saint Ignace, who have endured the barbs of those from the lower peninsula that their burb just isn't far enough south. The bowling alleys of Saint Ignace are smooth and forgiving, its people the antithesis of the misery in the lower peninsula and the view of the Mackinac bridge from the north allows an expatriate like myself to truly look back in anger, with style.
I also bring good tidings to the people of Vassar who hold the prominence of holding the one hill in Michigan within its borders. This allows the citizens within to experience the peaks and valleys of spiritual life freely. Unlike their miserable neighbors further to the south in Millington, Otisville and beyond, whom only know mind numbing flatness.
If I could give ye people of Michigan a word, let it be this. "Seek out the curves and peaks....there ye shall find hope, and through hope, glory."
posted by The Book Of Mikey | 7:03 PM
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